Notes from Parents' Meeting (Part III)

[Editor's note: please read Parts I and II above before proceeding to this section. Much of what is said here is built upon things laid forth earlier and will make much more sense in light of those.]

One of the most glaring questions that faces us now is, why no more TGIF? [Editors note: For over twenty years, TGIF was a weekly youth group meeting on Friday nights at First Baptist Church. The night usually consisted of an hour of game-time, an hour of small group study, and an hour of worship music and preaching.] I know many of you have heard rumors and whisperings about this over the last few months and it is time to put them to rest. We have ceased doing TGIF for two main reasons: 1) a muddled schedule and 2) a muddled purpose.

A muddled schedule. If you were to add up all the Wednesdays, Fridays, monthly events and extra events that the youth group regularly hosted, you would end up with roughly fifteen days. That’s roughly one-half of the nights of the month that would be spent away from parents with just regular youth ministry activities. If you add school activities, sports, extra-curricular activities, and other activities for the parents, families may spend only two or three nights together each week. It is almost impossible for parents to be the main spiritual influences and teachers if they are only spending one-third of the month together. If we truly believe that this is the parents’ responsibility, then we will no longer take their kids away from them fifteen nights a month.

A muddled purpose. Listen to this quote from another youth pastor, “If I become too pastoral, the kids won’t be entertained, and they will go down the street to the guy with all the bells and whistles. If I become too evangelistic, I get complaints about the shallowness of the group and post-youth ministry dropout rate. I can’t win (Baucham 181).” I can relate to this youth pastor. In my dealings with Friday nights over the past six months, I have had these same problems. I was either preaching too long or too short. The small groups were either not serious enough or too serious. The game time was either too long or too short. Everybody had their own opinion. In talking with many parents and leaders over the purpose of TGIF I encountered two main responses. The first was that TGIF was supposed to be an evangelistic event in which kids could invite their lost friends. The second was that it was supposed to be a safe place, off of the streets, away from the evil things of the world that my kids could come and hang out and relax. Unfortunately we were doing neither of these well.

As stated earlier, if we are truly going to do an evangelistic event, then we need to go where the lost people are and minister to them there. But this will not be in the form of games or entertainment; we have already seen that they are not effective and we will not be a part of them. We have also already seen that the church is not a safe place to hang out, especially when it is evangelizing. In light of both of these things, a muddled schedule and a muddled purpose, we are no longer doing TGIF and are doubling or efforts in training and assisting parents.

Upon hearing this, many people have said to me, “but what about the fun?” or “isn’t this too scholastic?” and I usually have two responses for them. First, we must get away from the idea that there can be no “fun” or fellowship at Bible study. We cannot compartmentalize that way. While Bible study is a serious time, there is joy and we do usually have a good time because we are brought together by the common bond of the gospel and common blood of Jesus Christ. So we must get away from this idea. Second, in response, I say, look at the calendar. We usually have at least two events every four to six weeks that are “fellowship” times. But either way, we are serious about church. We are assisting parents and equipping saints for work that involves life and death for all of eternity; this is important work we’re doing.

I know that not having TGIF will create a void in some of the students. Some parents were raised participating in Friday nights, and many students have been a part of it or seen their older siblings go through it, and I know that they are going to be missing out. I do understand this, but I also know of another void that needs to be filled. And that void is family time. I encourage families to not waste Friday nights; make it an intentional family time. If your kid really wants to hang out with friends, then have your family hang out with their family. If your student has a desire to go evangelize, that’s great! Go do it as a family. And if your student really wants to be with other Christians in a safe environment, then keep them home, it’s safer than anywhere else.

I want to now focus our attention on one last thing. It is the subject of servant-leadership. Not only do we assist you the parents in the discipling of your students, but we also equip them for the work of the ministry. We have a very high view of leadership here in the church. Did you know that we will be held accountable, to God, for the leaders we put in place? From every senior citizen to every Jr. High kid, we will answer to God for whom we have set in different positions. Because of this, we want to make sure that every person who is put in a position of leadership is equipped and able to handle the work involved.

We are, therefore, putting something new in place. From now on, if your student wishes to serve in the church in a leadership position, whether it be Children’s Church, Sunday School teacher or assistant, or worship ministry, they will be required to attend The Academy. What is The Academy? Good question. This “Student Ministries Seminary” is a training and discipleship time where we teach theology, doctrine, historic creeds of the faith, practical ministry, and personal holiness. We will meet every 2nd and 4th Sunday of the month, from 4:00 to 5:30 pm. Parents are, of course, invited and encouraged to come as well. The Academy is open to all, but again, is a requirement for all student leaders (the only exceptions are nursery, preschool, and VBS helpers).

So that’s pretty much everything. We believe these are the first steps in moving toward where God would have us go. We are very excited, but very serious about the work ahead, and look forward to see what God has in store for us. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at any time.